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My Dear Ramadan Stay-at-Home Mom, I Salute You

Yaser Birjas

category: Ramadan

source: Muslimmatters.org

reads: 4969

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Masjids with traditional designs were not prepared to receive many women and children. They don't have the space, the childcare service, and in many cases the proper women organization for these kinds of events, not to mention the parking spaces. Therefore, if some centers were hostile to women and children from a fiqh point of view, others simply just don't have the proper facility to offer even a mediocre service let alone a professional one for them.

5. Your period is for your recreation

My dear Ramadan stay-at-home mom,

Don't you sometimes want to take a break from so many things in life, such as waking up early for fajr, so you can take that extra time you deserve for rest? Well, you work so hard and you deserve that break. When you are asked to stop fasting and praying during this time and required to stay at home instead of coming to the masjid, it does not mean you are less righteous. The hadith women are "naqisatu 'aqlin wa din" refers to women's reason and practice of devotional acts as being less comparing to men (and this is not the place to debate the meaning of this hadith). The hadith speaks about "less" in what women do, not less in who they are or what they become during that time of the month. It's about quantity not quality.

When the Messenger of Allah explained his words, he counted what women usually stop doing during their period, not what they stop becoming, because they never stop becoming devotional or righteous because of what they have no control over (i.e. their period).

Obviously if you stop practicing particular devotional duties during your period for few days it does not make you less righteous, it only makes you less "doing." After all, even women such as Khadijah, Faá¹­imah and 'a'ishah were menstruating women, and still they were by far of the most righteous, among women and men, of all time.

Therefore, when your period starts it is more righteous and more devotional to stop great devotional acts such as salat, fasting, reciting the Qur'an and attending the masjid. Sounds like a paradox, but it is what it is. It's all about obeying Allah and His Messenger Muhammad . However, you can still do lots of other good deeds, including reading tafsir and the translation of the Qur'an.

My dear Ramadan stay-at-home mom,

If you decided to come to the masjid with your children, unless the masjid provides childcare service, please make sure your children stay under your supervision and make sure to respect your masjid's regulations. The hadith that bans children from attending the masjid is very weak, but being considerate to others is still essential too. Here are few suggestions you may want to consider:

1. Try to get a group of sisters together to take turns babysitting their children in the masjid. A couple of sisters can stay with the children while the others pray, and after two or four rakʿahs they switch until the end of the salat.

2. If the masjid does not have enough room, you could babysit at the house of one the participating families. In this case, you stay at home one night while others pray and then rotate so that everybody gets a chance to host the children and enjoy praying.

3. Young parents?! The husband and wife can help each other in the same manner – it is part of being kind to one another. I have also seen some young fathers get together in one house and do their tarawih in jama'ah at home with their young babies around and their wives pray that night at the masjid. It's your priority to pray at the masjid, but part of your good manners is to consider your wife's need too.

My dear Ramadan stay-at-home mom,

If you decided to pray at home, here are few tips for you:

  1. Pray with your children if you can, and lead them even if they were boys younger than ten.
  2. Do not follow any live broadcast of salatul tarawih of the Internet or TV. Pray on your own.
  3. Even though it's permissible to hold the mushaf and recite from the Qur'an directly, it is still better for you to recite from memory.
  4. If you don't know much of the Qur'an, you can still repeat the same surah over and over again until the recitation is long enough for you.
  5. It is permissible to dim the lights around the house in order to get more focus and concentration.
  6. Pray it in the best way you can, and may Allah reward you for your good intention.

My dear Ramadan stay-at-home mom,

Thank you for your patience. 

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