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category: Islamic Manners
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If you loved someone, or felt good feelings about him, don't wait, just tell him at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said "If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any ,you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings." He added "It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated". Such love is to be blessed by Allah if it is for Allah's sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc…. Unless this love is for Allah's sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then. When they meet each other on the Day of Judgement, they are not brothers any more but enemies, as Allah says in the Quran " Friends on that Day will be foes, one to another; except the Righteous." (Az-Zukhruf: 67)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) says "A man is in the company of whom he loved." By this he means that on the Day of Judgment, a person will be with whom he loved. So, we have to choose then between two kinds of societies, one is in enmity and the other is a kind brotherly one. Hence, we find that the Prophet (peace be upon him) associated the Makkan immigrants and the Medinan followers as brothers. It was a rare kind of brotherhood that even two brothers were to be buried together in one grave after being martyred in the conquests. Means of brotherhood was always being indicated by the Prophet (peace be upon him) as he says "You are not allowed to enter heaven till you believe in Allah and you will not be true believers unless you love each other. Shall I tell you something to do that indicates love between you? It is to spread salutation of Peace among you."
The pity is that people are always either cruelly and harshly treating each other or extremely tender that they adore each other. Actually, it is a matter of striking a balance between heart and mind, something that differs according to the difference of characters and circumstances. It is absolutely a blessing given by Allah.
It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings?
The Prophet (peace be upon him)'s wife, Aisha said "A man came to visit us, but to my surprise, once the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw him, he said "O…that ill- mannered man", but the Prophet (peace be upon him) changed completely once he sat with him. He welcomed the man warmly, smiling in his face. When the man left, I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) about what had surprised me; how he considered this man as being bad, and how he talked to him in such warmth? The Prophet (peace be upon him) answered "Have you ever seen me behaving as a hypocrite?" He added "In the Day of Judgement, the worst degrees are for those whom people deserted for being mistreated by them."
Al Qurtubi differentiates between hypocrisy and sociability, regarding sociability as a desirable legal behavior, saying that sociability means sacrificing the worldly affairs for the sake of improving either life on earth or religion, or so as to improve both, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs.
Hence, being sociable for ill-mannered people is aiming to achieve two purposes:
Firstly, to avoid being mistreated by them.
Secondly, being good to them could be guidance for them to step the right way. Compliments should be within worldly affairs only, never in religious affairs, otherwise, it will be a matter of hypocrisy.
To be sociable, means to be tender, smiling, praising to the other, intending in the meantime a legal benefit. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says "Being sociable, is as alms-giving." Ibn Battal says also "Sociability is an ethic of the believers; it is to show open-mindedness in treating others and to delicately speak to them. Both are important elements in seeking reasons for intimacy."
author: Yaser Birjas
total reads: 9107
author: Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
total reads: 124817